Sitting in the Cleft of the Rock.

I'm not exactly sure where to begin, so bare with me as I ramble on about what the Lord is doing over here in Honduras.

Remember how I said that I was praying for this month in Honduras to challenge me in new ways? well I guess I need to be careful what I pray for.  I got the flashing billboard that I was asking for.

I made it back to Honduras over a week ago.  There are no words to describe how good it feels to be here again.  I am getting to love on the sweet kiddos that I have known for the past six years and my heart is overflowing.  There is nothing like hearing them squeal my name and then giggle with excitement as they run to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  It is music to my ears.

After I jumped down from cloud 9, I looked around the orphanage and was actually a little discouraged at what I saw.  The kids aren't doing anywhere near what I want for them. Their muscles are more rigid from not moving, the back of their heads are a little flatter from laying in a bed all day, their bodies aren't clean, and several are sick.  Daniella, the girl I refused to put down last year, wasn't there.  My immediate fear was that she passed away and nobody thought to tell me.  After struggling through my Spanish I was able to figure out that she is in a hospital in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, and the prognosis doesn't look good.  There is a whole lot of work to be done but I took comfort in the fact that I had a whole month to do as much as I could to help.

Sometimes we have plans that don't match God's plans for us.  The man who runs the orphanage has refused the help of doctors, teachers, physical therapists, and many more people, and now he is refusing our help.  I was told that the groups from Journey Mission Camp were not welcome back at the orphanage again, final decision.  As you can imagine, Carlos' decision came as a complete smack in the face.  A few days before he told me that I wasn't welcome back he was practically on his knees thanking me for coming and thanking me and our group for loving the kids just as much as he does. I came to Honduras to work at the orphanage every day and after a week all of my personal plans are ruined.  This isn't the flashing billboard I was asking for but I am definitely still thankful that it is covered in glitter and flashing lights. 

I wholeheartedly believe that this is an answered prayer.  I have prayed over and over again that this trip would challenge me in ways that are beyond my capabilities to fix on my own.  I prayed that this month would show me how hard and how discouraging mission work can be at times.  I prayed that I would learn to trust God without limits and that I could develop the  mustard seed faith that can move mountains.  I prayed that I would be able to feel the presence of the Lord as I walk through each day.  I prayed for comfort and peace that is beyond my understanding. I prayed to learn to love people like Jesus does.

This is not at all how I expected this prayer to be answered, and its definitely not how I would have chosen to learn these lessons, but I'm thankful for them.  I know without a doubt that God was working in that orphanage long before I ever visited, and I am confident that he isn't leaving them any time soon.  I know this is part of God's plan because of the overwhelming peace that I have experienced in the past few days.  I have a strength that is not my own.  I know this is God because I'm not at all worried about the kids.  The best thing that could happen for them is to begin their eternal life with their new bodies and constant communion in Heaven with their Savior.  I now understand a small piece of the endless love that God has for us even when we disappoint him, even when we refuse His help and the help of others, even when we make selfish decisions, and even when we are not thankful for the things that he has given us. These are the lessons that I am being taught by my patient Teacher that speaks all languages to all people.

I am so thankful for all of these challenges and I am grateful for all of the prayers that are being lifted up for me, Carlos, and all the kids at the orphanage.  It is so encouraging to know that there are people that are praying with me and for me.  I am eager to see what else the Lord has planned for me over the next month.  I am willing to do anything and go anywhere he leads me, even if it means never going to the orphanage again.  For now, I am content to sit in the cleft of the rock, safe in my fathers arms. (Exodus 33:12-23)

A Life Changing Experience

The past few months have been a complete whirlwind. I have lived in Greece for three and a half months, traveled to Turkey and Israel with my HUG group, eaten too many scoops of gelato and not enough gyros, failed at learning to speak Greek, been on 15 flights (if I counted correctly), traveled through Europe on several trains (spending the night on two of them), walked on angient Roman roads that Jesus would have walked on, been to some of the largest churches in the world, seen three of the seven wonders of the ancient world, almost broken my leg while zip lining in Interlaken, Switzerland, spent the night in some pretty disgusting hostels, eaten meals consisting of baguettes and lunch meat for 17 days straight, and much much more. I can't believe all of the opportunities that I have been given. Never would I have thought that in my 20 years of life I would have been to so many places. 
While I was overseas I was kind of discouraged because I didn't think that I had had the "life changing experience" that everyone else seems to have after living abroad, but I was completely wrong.  Now, I see the world with completely new eyes.  The world is so much bigger than I could have ever wrapped my mind around. There is a HUGE difference between life in Searcy and life in Istanbul and Jerusalem.  People go about life in a completely different way.  Some of them may worship the same God that I worship but they don't have the relationship with God that I have.  I don't have to go to the Western "wailing" Wall to pray for something that isn't coming.  My Lord lives inside of me and goes with me throughout every day.  I am not required to pray during the Call to Prayer. I can have a continual conversation with my Creator. What a blessing that is.  The world is big and its inhabitants are many, but it is comforting to know the one who holds it all together.
I have always wanted to see the world and now that I have, I know that I am called to something more.  How incredible is it to know that God could do all of this work on his own be he chose me to help him.  I am so small. I feel incapable and unqualified to do so many things, but my Savior chose me.  He wants me on his side and he wants me to go on this journey with him.  So I am going. I am giving myself to the one who can make a difference in my life and in the lives of others through me.  He is more than able. 
This year I have spent three and a half months out of the country, and Thursday morning I am leaving for another month.  I will be spending four weeks in Catacamas, Honduras, a place that has begun to feel like home.  I cant wait to see all that the Lord will use me for over the next few weeks.  The Hondurans are perfectly capable of building houses, digging latrines, putting roofs on houses, painting school buildings, teaching at schools, and visiting orphanages, but I pray that as I do these things, I will be able to bring something else to the table.  I pray that they will experience the Lord in a new way because I was there.  I am praying for big things and expecting them to happen.  I want this next month to challenge me in new ways.  I want to come back to the states a new person, completely changed (once again) by the Holy Spirit. I know that the Lord is already at work in Honduras and I can't wait to see what he has planned for me to help Him with over the next month.  Please pray with me that the people in Catacamas will see Jesus alive in me and that they will have a desire for this Life too. 
You will hear from me again hopefully sometime next week, once I'm safely in Honduras.